If you listened to yesterday’s episode you know that today is going to be unique to say the least. It is WODDITY’s 2019 year end “rap” up, entitled 190101.
Good morning and welcome to the WODDITY podcast for news about CrossFit. We are a daily podcast, Monday through Friday, doing CrossFit news in five minutes or less.
My name is Ben Garves and today is Tuesday, the 31st of December, 2019.
I won’t go any deeper into it than to say this is me rapping a year-end summary of the year in CrossFit. Also…be forgiving. You can download the full track on WODDITY.com. Enjoy!
“01” the day, “01” the month
“01” the place of Fraser so much
And Toomey like roomies in cookeville with Rory
Cuz Froning is owning the zoning, big stories
Greg Glassman announcement, mainsite is bouncin’
Get some water jugs, a broomstick, some couches
Don’t drink the pink stuff, but be sure to clean them
Burpees with aunties Maybell and Tina
Thought it was a dream but I woke up and seen ‘em
Kara Saunders was pregnant and still beating EMOMs
Jillian Michaels is cray…yup
And we’re asking Facebook for a prenup
There won’t be no refund, not on the change
CrossFit is for fitness, for health, and for age
200lbs down, 200lbs down,
Chronic illness gone, people still having loud doubts
NSCA better shut your loud mouth
C-O-C-A cola, Gatorade should be laughed out
Athletes on the stage going cray ‘til they pass out
Mayhem with the sweep, better believe if you have doubt
See, I’m genre ambidextrous
Bend my voice so I connect it
Got a nice mashup
And this beat is on some next ish
We done made it on the Games list
Got the podcast launched
And the website got a facelift
But let’s face it – that our main ish
Ain’t just hawkin website pages
We’ve been raging, we’ve been working
We’ve been burpees, clean, and jerking
I could deliver three livers
Worth of clean liquor with a free sticker
Yeah, them boys so smooth
Then turn to Tommy and Sean
For some podcast news
And to Brittney, Jessica
Recognize y’all both by name
Cuz the things y’all write
Making this game change
But then the beat return, just like the second Open
It’s an omen, I’ve been hoping that they pick some ropes and rowing
Voting would be cool, I guess, too, what’s THAT clue?
Castro with his grass, car wreck, and half-spoon
Shout out to Morning Chalk Up
I want to squash the drama
Hope that’s cool.
Justin, I respect you and that’s true.
Now, back to the song, bruh, you know that’s all me.
Got a Fresh Cup of Fitness with a pot of hot tea
My boy J Khalipa, pushing Bubs and strategy
Oh, and Froning is hooked. It’s that Good Dudes Coffee.
You want a few shoes? Reebok just dropped three.
Like…Tal is all laughs, his page is all leaks.
I want to live the dream in a Captain Smith tee.
Found myself praying for some Ben Smith knees.
I’m still the biggest fan of Brent Fikowski,
Congrats to Tia-Clair, cuz now that’s three.
I saved the deepest for last
I’ve got a favor to ask
The CrossFit of the past
And the CrossFit that we have
But if I was Greg Glassman
Building brands that would last, then…
I wouldn’t care what you thought, bought,
Wrote me, or asked, and…
That’s not because he’s an ass,
It’s cuz he cares where he stands
He’s saying health is more important than
I happen to agree, egregiously
If you block me, I’ll understand,
But I think we could all need a moment.
And a hand.
So the sport is at a crossroads,
It still has millions of follows
Hundreds of millions of dollars
Brands, products, and sponsors
I can’t get stopped on a concourse
Without fan audits and encores
So if we get it together,
We could make this a lot more
It’s unlimited untapped potential
No ceiling for growth
We’re changing people’s lives
We’re giving people hope
I think sometimes we’ve lost track
Of the things that we can control
And we’re always so afraid
Of what’s new and unknown
But I thought that was the point
I thought that was the goal
It’s the 2019 Rap Up
Okay, that’s it for news about CrossFit for Tuesday, December 31st. Thanks for listening. Please be sure to rate, review, subscribe, and share. For WODDITY, I’m Ben Garves. We’ll chat tomorrow.